The
Most Powerful Thirst Quencher on Earth
Pure Delicious Unadulterated H2O
From the fresh water springs of Kalamazoo
*Contains absolutely no caffeine,
lead, or other additives.*Will prevent dehydration if taken daily.*Guaranteed
to freeze at exactly 32 degrees Fahrenheit.*Contains absolutely no vitamins or
minerals of any sort.*Contains 0 calories *Can safely be taken by Diabetics or
those suffering from heart disease or any other ailment.*Has been tested on
fish and found to sustain their life for many years.*Easily dissolves in human
cells and tissues.*Proven over thousands of years, to contain vital life
sustaining properties.*Recommended by leading doctors and psychiatrists.*Will
not leave any stain if spilled on tablecloth, carpet, or clothing.*Good for netilas
yodayim, mayim achronim and mayim shelonu.*Can
be added to wine or vodka to lessen its dangers.*Can be used on Pesach if not
mixed with any chometz product.*Keep a few extra bottles available in
case of fire!*Endorsed kosher by the Hisachdus Ha’letzonim.*Only $10 per
bottle while supplies lasts!*Remember to always keep a liberal supply handy
especially when traveling through a desert.*For maximum pleasure, always keep
refrigerated and mix with your favorite drink but don’t drive. Warning! Do not
drink on Yom Kippure or other fast days!
Special discount for all drunks
and the gullible! Endorsed by Country Yossi, the OU, and the FTC. Fully tested
by Me’shu’shelach and guaranteed to live to a ripe old age if taken on a daily
basis for 120 years. Money back guarantee if not fully satisfied.
Bottled and
distributed by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum. US Patent pending #74363Z67ZZXY243.
Warning! Always keep bottle tightly closed to prevent the
spread of the West Nile Virus and other contaminants from entering!
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