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The Most Powerful Thirst Quencher on Earth

The Most Powerful Thirst Quencher on Earth

Pure Delicious Unadulterated H2O

From the fresh water springs of Kalamazoo

*Contains absolutely no caffeine, lead, or other additives.*Will prevent dehydration if taken daily.*Guaranteed to freeze at exactly 32 degrees Fahrenheit.*Contains absolutely no vitamins or minerals of any sort.*Contains 0 calories *Can safely be taken by Diabetics or those suffering from heart disease or any other ailment.*Has been tested on fish and found to sustain their life for many years.*Easily dissolves in human cells and tissues.*Proven over thousands of years, to contain vital life sustaining properties.*Recommended by leading doctors and psychiatrists.*Will not leave any stain if spilled on tablecloth, carpet, or clothing.*Good for netilas yodayim, mayim achronim and mayim shelonu.*Can be added to wine or vodka to lessen its dangers.*Can be used on Pesach if not mixed with any chometz product.*Keep a few extra bottles available in case of fire!*Endorsed kosher by the Hisachdus Ha’letzonim.*Only $10 per bottle while supplies lasts!*Remember to always keep a liberal supply handy especially when traveling through a desert.*For maximum pleasure, always keep refrigerated and mix with your favorite drink but don’t drive. Warning! Do not drink on Yom Kippure or other fast days!
Special discount for all drunks and the gullible! Endorsed by Country Yossi, the OU, and the FTC. Fully tested by Me’shu’shelach and guaranteed to live to a ripe old age if taken on a daily basis for 120 years. Money back guarantee if not fully satisfied.
Bottled and distributed by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum. US Patent pending #74363Z67ZZXY243.

Warning! Always keep bottle tightly closed to prevent the spread of the West Nile Virus and other contaminants from entering!

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